Finding My Right Path

I have been thinking about writing this post for awhile and kept getting side-tracked as life happened around me. Fall is my favorite time of year for so many reasons, college football, my birthday, which always signals a new year for me, the change of season, with gorgeous fall colors and cooler weather and the start of school. Because I consider this time of year my annual fresh start, I have been spending a lot of time assessing where I am and what is my right path. Two months later, I am finally finding time to stop, catch my breath and capture my thoughts.

I got turned down for two jobs in October, yep TWO jobs. Despite knowing that the right job is still out there, and that I currently have a job I love, it was a blow to my ego. I have been asked why I was looking if I love my job and there is no simple answer, but it was an opportunity that I needed to put my name in the hat for if I want to achieve the career plan I have for myself. I know I would have been fantastic in either position but I also know that I have to trust that my path is still being created so this was not the end of it, just a detour. So, after a night or two or feeling sorry for myself, I got up and decided that I would get back to finding my path. I started by asking myself why the job was such a blow to my ego - I mean, my whole identity is not wrapped up in my career, is it? Maybe it was time for some introspection...

When I stepped back a little, I realized that, for me, finding my right path might come outside of my career - not that I can't find great opportunities in my career but my personal path should be about so much more than that. Then, I had the chance to do two things last month: plan an event for Read for the Record at the YWCA Family Center and attend the YWCA's annual Woman to Woman luncheon. Suddenly, I realized what I needed to get on my right path and it meant going back to my passion for service and volunteerism. Reading to 23 small children and seeing the sheer joy and excitement in their faces as we read the story, created our own antennae and made collages was one of those moments you can only truly appreciate if you are in it.

So, my career path is still there and I am not ready to let it get overgrown from lack of care and attention, but I think I am closer to finding my right path, right here in my community. I am taking my first steps down this path and I cannot wait to see where it leads. No matter what, I know that this path will bring me new challenges and personal growth, and hopefully some new friends and mentors along the way.

Personal Downsizing

With the economic picture still continuing to present challenges to many of us, I began thinking about the idea of downsizing and how it relates to me personally. Downsizing is often used when the circumstances have forced it, like a company that must lay off employees to avoid going out of business or a couple that must move from their home to avoid foreclosure. The idea of downsizing always seems to have a negative connotation to it and I started thinking about how that could change if we started proactively downsizing, starting with our personal lives. Do I really need three TVs in the house? What about two cars to drive? Could Christy and I manage our lives with one car to share? Would we be able to handle the planning and and forethought that might have to occur, no more jumping in a car at a moment's notice to run to the store or grab a bite to eat? I started a mental inventory of all the places where personal downsizing could happen in my life and what the net impact would be. I started thinking about how much nicer it might be to open a closet or drawer and not feel it precariously stuffed and filled, with a single wrong move possibly bringing the whole thing down. Would it really bother me to wear the same several tops to work meetings? Would anyone I work with even notice? (Disclaimer: I do work with mostly men on a regular basis! So, I began the process of assessing what we could downsize.

Decision One: company car. I am no longer driving enough miles to warrant a company car, which meant we would have to buy another car or live with one?

Decision: downsize, one car.

Decision Two: what can we live without? This is a longer process, going through closets, noticing items that have not been used in months, streamlining our home life. We did accomplish a big part of this when we moved, but the accumulation seemed to start all over in the new house. Do we need all this stuff? I took a first step in this area when I chose to check out the public library and discovered that it is a great resource for books (and much easier on the budget too!) but now it is time to go to the next level with it.

Decision: room to streamline, finding motivation to do it.

Decision Three: keep chaos at bay. I find that when organization fails, accumulation starts. So, the motivation will have to reach beyond cleaning and purging and lead all the way to implementing a new process for organization.

Decision: organization at home is coming...

So, that is the start of my personal downsizing - it also includes some lifestyle downsizing, trimming the excess and finding the fun and value in simplicity. I think that this idea of personal downsizing is going to be an adventure, challenging me to think about my choices and to keep asking myself, need or want? And, while there will still be some indulging the wants, I think that being thoughtful about them will make me appreciate them even more. Now, off to work on organizing and cleaning (and hopefully purging!) in the house...

A Nation of Sound Bytes

Sound bytes. Those simple little quotes, meant to capture the overall intent of someone's thoughts or message, seem to be our new way of getting news and determining the value of something as complex and challenging as health care. It seems as though every time I have a conversation with someone, they repeat the sound bytes they heard on CNN, Fox, MSNBC or talk radio as though they are absolute fact, not commentary or opinion, which they have become more and more frequently. It does not matter which side of the argument you sit on, we have lost our sense of real debate and replaced it with our side's key talking points, forgetting to learn as much as we can and really talk about the issues in front of us, preferring to cite short snippets that create a divide and limit our ability to have honest, open conversations.

Just recently, I noticed an exchange on Facebook that was a great example of how the debate has become centered around talking points ands sound bytes, not real facts:

original post:

Its official! Sarah "the quitter" Palin is nuts! She actually seems to be equating health care reform with eugenics when she writes in this note: "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil."

Response to post:

Well, to quote Obama... "Maybe you're better off not having the surgery, but taking the painkiller."
-President Obama (healthcare town hall meeting, June 24, 2009.

If it's gonna be that way for old people, why not Downs Syndrome kids? Is it that big a stretch?

Response to response:

Yes, that is a giant stretch. And for the record here's the FULL quote from Obama at the town hall meeting you referenced: "End-of-life care is one of the most difficult, sensitive decisions we're going to have to make. I don't want bureaucracies making those decisions. But understand that those decisions are already being made in one way or another. If they're not being made under Medicare and Medicaid, they're being made by private insurers. We don't always make those decisions explicitly. We often make those decisions by just letting people run out of money or making the deductibles too high or the out-of-pocket expenses so onerous that they just can't afford the care.

And all we're suggesting -- and we're not going to solve every difficult problem in terms of end-of-life care; a lot of that is going to have to be we as a culture and as a society starting to make better decisions within our own families and for ourselves. But what we can do is make sure that at least some of the waste that exists in the system that's not making anybody's mom better, that is loading up on additional tests or additional drugs that the evidence shows is not necessarily going to improve care, that at least we can let doctors know, and your mom know, that you know what, maybe this isn't going to help, maybe you're better off not having the surgery, but taking the painkiller.

And those kinds of decisions between doctors and patients, and making sure that our incentives are not preventing those good decisions and that the doctors and hospitals all are aligned for patient care -- that's something we can achieve. We're not going to solve every single one of these very difficult decisions at end of life, and ultimately that's going to be between physicians and patients. But we can make real progress on this front if we work a little bit harder."

As you can see, the sound byte that was lifted from this long conversation became the talking point for one side of the argument and doesn't even really represent the whole point of the original conversation. This is just one small example of how talking points and sound bytes are defining our conversation and determining how we debate issues. As we continue to be a society of convenience and quick fixes, the sound bytes have become our way of learning and communicating news, which is not a good thing from my perspective. Gone seem to be meaningful, respectful debates and in their place we regurgitate the latest talking points from TV "news" hosts as though they are fact, when they are really opinions, perspectives and the concept of real reporting and news has escaped many people on TV and radio today. I am ready for the return to real differences and honest debate, not partisan, political sound bytes that don't do anyone justice.

I have challenged myself to learn more about the complex issues and stop relying on sound bytes and talking points - if I can have a real, honest debate with someone, that is one less conversation that is based in commentary and one more step toward a return to smart, thoughtful conversation.

Dreams to Reality

I am back from vacation, facing the real world and giving some serious thought to how we take our dreams and make them reality. We went to Kiawah Island, where my family has been going for 20 years, before it was the island it is today. As I think back to the last 20 years and what has changed, I realized that while the island has changed, grown and evolved and so have I, the feeling I have while I am there has not. There is a sense of contentment, happiness and peaceful relaxation that starts the moment I drive onto the island and stays with me until I get back to everyday life. For years, we have had this ongoing tradition of identifying our favorite house on the island, one that it is discovered as we ride our bikes around the island, finding features that fit our dream of living there, at least part of the year. This year, I found my new favorite home, one that looks large enough to share with family and friends who come visit as well as special features that bring to life some of my favorites, including an outdoor kitchen and a great outside social area for enjoying a glass of wine and the gorgeous marsh views. Every year that we go, I say that I would love to find a way to have a home there, a place to live part of the year, capturing a dream that has stayed with me for 20 years. I started to think about how to make my dream happen - what would it take? So, a plan has begun to take shape and the pot at the end of my rainbow is a home on Kiawah Island. It won't be simple, easy or quick but I think that setting my mind to achieve my dream is the first step in making my dream a reality.

As I put the words down on paper (or the computer screen), it is one more step toward making my dream a goal and then creating a plan for achieving that goal. And, as the reality of the money and resources sink in, I will stay focused on my goal, knowing that commitment, tenacity and the challenge will motivate me to bring my dream into the real world. It makes me wonder what we could all accomplish if we really set our minds to it.

The Value of Vacation

I am getting ready to go on vacation this week and, in the process of wrapping up work and finishing all my household duties (laundry, cleaning out the fridge, taking out the trash), I started thinking about vacations and what they mean to me. I was not always a fully engaged person in my life around me and often took work on vacation with me, logging onto my computer to check email or spend some time on my latest project. It was a standard expectation by friends and family that I would have my computer and work with me and I missed out on some important things because I "just couldn't get away from work". And then, I lost someone important to me unexpectedly and had the chance to go with his wife and daughter on a trip to Italy. No computer, no phone, just a chance to travel and experience my first vacation overseas. When I came back after two weeks, I had more than 400 emails in my work inbox - talk about overwhelming! And then, my boss said "just delete them all" and after a minor reaction of "you've got to be kidding me!!!" I did it. Wow, was that a liberating feeling! At that moment, I made the decision that to be the best person at work and at home, I had to make time for me and learn to put work away.

Fast forward to today - I have a personal cell phone so I can leave the work phone at home, the computer is not even an option in my packing plan and my goal is to be fully engaged in whatever I am doing, whether it is laying on the beach, playing in the ocean, biking around the island or hanging with family and friends. To quote my boss, "I work to live, not live to work" and so I am off to do just that...live!

Have we lost our sense of commitment?

As many people have heard and read since Friday, Governor Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska, citing several reasons that included making a choice that was in the best interest of the people of Alaska, the toll politics has taken on her family and the need to go in a new direction. While I certainly respect the rights of all people to make choices and decisions for the best interests of their family, I find it hard to trust that the reasons she cited are the real reasons for her choice. The more I started to think about it though, the angrier I got. How do we teach our children that when things get tough, you stick with it and you don't give up if the people who are leaders and supposed role models don't show that same sense of commitment? And the whole idea of being a lame duck? Aren't many of our elected officials lame ducks at some point? Have we really created such a system of "politics" that we can no longer be productive, valuable assets in our roles? Is there really nothing productive that Sarah Palin could have brought to the state of Alaska for the next 17 months? And, is it really that easy to walk away from something that is such a big commitment and responsibility?

The bigger question becomes about honesty, transparency and trust. From where I sit, Sarah Palin has shown little regard for all of these things. It would have been much more honest to stand up and say that since last August, her life, and that of her family, has changed dramatically and that she feels that there is another path for her to be on right now. I would still wonder how someone could quit on a commitment, and a commitment that was made by thousands of people voting in support of you, but at least I would believe her. Commitment is taken lightly these days by so many, personally and professionally, and that lack of commitment affects something much bigger, our beliefs. When people honor commitments, then I can believe in you and am willing to make an investment in you. I will work hard for you and I will stand up for you, because I am committed to you. We need people who make commitments and stick with them in order for us to be a better, stronger nation. What we don't need is another politician who is willing to cast us aside for something bigger and better.

Here is what I am taking away from all of this - a reminder that when I make commitments, it is important to stick with them, no matter how tough they get and no matter how hard others make it for me. I cannot blame others for the tough road I end up on and use that as a justification for quitting. No matter how you color it, quitting is not about integrity and commitment. I have been a little lackadaisical in my own life lately with commitments - making them, focusing on them and sticking with them and that changes today. I am not going to be a person who chooses to walk away or go in a new direction when the one I have becomes challenging, tough, unfair or undesireable. I choose commitment, for all its challenges, toughness and road blocks along the way.

So, there is one thing I can now thank Sarah Palin for and that is reminding me about the importance of making and keeping commitments. Thank you for a valuable lesson.

Thinking about the 4th of July

I am not usually someone who is an outwardly patriotic person, I don't fly a flag at home and I do not go around professing my love for the U.S. but just because I don't do those things, does that make me less patriotic or loyal? Just 5 years ago, a newly identified politician with a funny name gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention, talking about "there is not a liberal America and a conservative America — there is the United States of America. There is not a Black America and a White America and Latino America and Asian America — there’s the United States of America. The pundits, the pundits like to slice-and-dice our country into Red States and Blue States; Red States for Republicans, Blue States for Democrats. But I’ve got news for them, too:
We worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don’t like federal agents poking around in our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and yes, we’ve got some gay friends in the Red States. There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq and there are patriots who supported the war in Iraq.
We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America. In the end, that’s what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism or do we participate in a politics of hope?" Yes, those are the words of our current president, Barack Obama.

Whether you agree with Obama as a leader or not, those words should ring true with all Americans. We have common values and viewpoints, even when we focus our differences. I have been so discouraged by the discourse happening in this country, where people cannot have differing opinions but must vehemently disregard the opinions of others. This past week has brought another round of disappointing news: a governor who broke the trust of the people in his state and, more importantly, broke the trust of his family; unemployment reaching another scary high; political bartering with state budgets and important issues like health care. Sometimes when we hear all that, it can be discouraging and hope gets lost.

And, this 4th of July I am hopeful that we are going to find a way as a nation to respect one another, respect everyone's right to freedom and not give up hope, even if our government or our leaders don't always inspire it. Because I think that, regardless of how you show it or don't, patriotism is not something that can be measured or ranked or won, it is just part of being American and that applies to all of us, regardless of our political positions, the color of our state or the place we worship.

Supporting Your Local Community

This weekend is Comfest in Columbus (www.comfest.com), which got me thinking about communities and how we support them. Comfest started in 1972 and continues to be a completely volunteer-driven festival in Goodale Park. It is a great opportunity to think about our local communities and the choices we make every day in them. I have the honor of living in Victorian Village, which is a great neighborhood that sits between Ohio State and Downtown Columbus and it means that we can walk or bike to just about anything. It also borders the Short North, which is full of shops, restaurants and resources, many of which I have not even tried yet. There is so much talk about buying local and supporting small businesses that I started wondering - shouldn't we support robust community activity and business in our neighborhoods, even if they are not all small businesses? When businesses come into communities, they encourage growth and vibrant neighborhoods and that includes businesses that may not be small or independent. I think that if we are really thinking local, we should support those businesses that are making our local neighborhoods vibrant, even if some of them are corporations or big businesses. Next time you think about grocery shopping or picking up something for home, ask yourself how far from home do I have to go?

Biking Around Ohio

It was a good weekend - Pride in Columbus was fun, the weather was gorgeous and Goodale park was full of activity. Wtih all the activity on Friday and Saturday, I was not sure how much energy I would have for our planned bike ride on Sunday but I was committed to going. I was talking to one of my friends about the biking adventures we have been planning around Ohio and they thought it was ironic that we were driving to go on a bike ride, but we want to be able to check out trails around the state and I am not up for 100-mile rides, yet. So, we set off Sunday to the Hockhocking Adena Bikeway, starting in Nelsonville and ending up in Athens. There are four of us who ride and this week we figured out how to fit one bike in the trunk and the other three on the bike rack so we could take one car, instead of two, yea for the environment!

The trail was great - relatively flat along the railbed and partially shaded so the sun was not beating down on us the whole time. Here is what I am learning about myself through these activities though: the things that I enjoy the most are things that are good for me and good for the environment. Getting me off the couch, turning off the computer and the T.V. and riding for 3 hours is fun and the exercise benefits are just a side benefit, not the goal. So, we are planning our next ride, hopefully to happen sooner rather than later, and looking forward to adventures throughout the state - who knew Ohio had such great biking trails? (Actually, I am certain many people knew, I was just not one of them until now!) Next time you have an hour or two, think about what you want to do with your day - spend it doing what you always do, or trying a new adventure that might actually turn out to be something you want to do again?

In case you are in Ohio and interested in the biking trails around the state, check out the link below:

http://www.ohiobikeways.net/

Rediscovering old favorites

After my last post, I began thinking about all the behaviors that could be incorporated into my daily life and it made me start to remember all those "sustainable" things I used to do, before anyone was even using the word sustainable. I am an avid reader, have been since I was a little girl and I remember how every summer I would pester my mom to get us over to the library so that I could sign up for the summer reading program and win prizes that probably included things like a free ice cream cone from McDonald's. While the prize was fun to get, the real motivation for me was in reading books. How many books could I read? Would I find a new favorite in the pile of stories I was about to delve into? And, while I read all throughout the year, there was something unique and special about the summers and those reading clubs. Somewhere along the way, I grew up, got a job, had money and found the bookstore so much easier and more convenient than the library. I grew my collection of good (and a lot of bad!) books and periodically would gather up those that were collecting dust and drop them off at Goodwill, getting my donations receipt for tax purposes. In fact, just a couple of weeks ago, I was in need of something to read and headed to the bookstore to grab a few books. Now, I love the bookstore, I love perusing new, undiscovered authors and could spend hours walking the aisles, exploring new books and ideas. Bouncing from fiction to cooking and over to travel was all part of the experience and one that I never liked to miss out on - I am not a run in, pick up a book and check out kind of bookstore girl!

But I started thinking - why did I stop using the library? When did I convince myself that in order to read, it had to be with a new book from the bookstore? So, I went to the library and got myself a library card, something I have not had in about 15 years. I had to look up where the library was (just a short walk from my house actually) and figure out when it was open (longer than I expected) and I went and got my library card. And, you know what I found? I found a great resource that I have not been taking advantage of. The library is way more convenient than I ever realized, with online reservation of books, telling me exactly where I am on a wait list and the ability to pick up the book at my branch of choice. And the activity in the library - wow, I felt like I was the only one who had forgotten about the library when I walked in and saw all the people there! It was as though time had transported me back and I remembered that feeling of going to the library and getting my book stamped with the recognitition for the books I read and it made me realize that, sustainable practices aside, I liked the feeling of going back to something that had been the place of so many happy memories for me. And, next time I get the urge to spend hours exploring books, I have my library card in hand to do just that.

I am never going to be a Kindle kind of girl - while I can appreciate all the arguments for being able to carry 500 books with me and the convenience of zoom in to make the print larger, I would miss the feel of a book in my hands, the smell of the pages and the familiar sound of those pages turning as I get lost in the stories. But I also don't know if buying a book every time I want to read is the best way either so it's back to my childhood and back to the library. I am even thinking about starting my own summer reading program - maybe my prize will be a bookstore purchase but more than likely, it will be an ice cream cone!

What Does Green Mean?

I was in Tampa, FL last week, attending a conference on sustainability and stayed at a hotel that was a proud member of the "Florida Green Lodging Program". I wondered what that meant and started noticing what the hotel was doing, or not doing, to achieve this distinction. As I started looking around, I realized that being green is the newest label in a long line of labeling the new, trendy practices. and it is often just that, a label. So, I began to think - if you are really going to be green, wouldn't you...and came up with a tick list of items for the hotel (at least for this blog entry!) and the list grew as I began to pay attention everywhere, hence the blog and not just one random post somewhere!

So, if you are really going to be green, wouldn't you... is an idea about how to have the conversation, moving the needle past a label and toward real action and real change. It's also about remembering the role that each person plays in this movement toward sustainable practices. I believe that the actions of individuals are far more powerful and impactful than any label or mandate, sometimes we just need to be reminded of it!

As I prepared my breakfast at the hotel, on styrofoam plates and bowls, I jotted down my observations and began my idea for a blog. The five things that jumped out at me about hotels as I looked around: no recycling, not for paper, plastic, cans or any other materials; newspapers at every door, including many that had still gone unclaimed by 2:00 in the afternoon; breakfast served with all styrofoam and disposables; no individual temperature controls and single-switch light controls in the room. While some of these things are out of an individual's control, there are some things that can impact your personal footprint at a hotel - do you leave the TV on for background noise? Do you leave computers and/or eletronics powered on when not in use? Do you bring your at-home behaviors on the road? You know the ones I am talking about - things like turning the water off while you brush your teeth and shutting off the lights when you leave the room. While the hotel's efforts can be, and really should be, improved, our actions can make an impact, regardless of the hotel's practices so don't forget the importance of your own behavior!

The next time you stay at a hotel, think about some of these facts: for all the advertising about reusing your towels, research shows that the actual number of people who do for multi-night stays is less than 30%; almost 70% of hotel guests would use a recycling bin if it was in their room and people are more likely to participate in green practices if they know their fellow hotel guests are doing the same. Now, the question is what will you do to make an impact?