Dreams to Reality

I am back from vacation, facing the real world and giving some serious thought to how we take our dreams and make them reality. We went to Kiawah Island, where my family has been going for 20 years, before it was the island it is today. As I think back to the last 20 years and what has changed, I realized that while the island has changed, grown and evolved and so have I, the feeling I have while I am there has not. There is a sense of contentment, happiness and peaceful relaxation that starts the moment I drive onto the island and stays with me until I get back to everyday life. For years, we have had this ongoing tradition of identifying our favorite house on the island, one that it is discovered as we ride our bikes around the island, finding features that fit our dream of living there, at least part of the year. This year, I found my new favorite home, one that looks large enough to share with family and friends who come visit as well as special features that bring to life some of my favorites, including an outdoor kitchen and a great outside social area for enjoying a glass of wine and the gorgeous marsh views. Every year that we go, I say that I would love to find a way to have a home there, a place to live part of the year, capturing a dream that has stayed with me for 20 years. I started to think about how to make my dream happen - what would it take? So, a plan has begun to take shape and the pot at the end of my rainbow is a home on Kiawah Island. It won't be simple, easy or quick but I think that setting my mind to achieve my dream is the first step in making my dream a reality.

As I put the words down on paper (or the computer screen), it is one more step toward making my dream a goal and then creating a plan for achieving that goal. And, as the reality of the money and resources sink in, I will stay focused on my goal, knowing that commitment, tenacity and the challenge will motivate me to bring my dream into the real world. It makes me wonder what we could all accomplish if we really set our minds to it.

The Value of Vacation

I am getting ready to go on vacation this week and, in the process of wrapping up work and finishing all my household duties (laundry, cleaning out the fridge, taking out the trash), I started thinking about vacations and what they mean to me. I was not always a fully engaged person in my life around me and often took work on vacation with me, logging onto my computer to check email or spend some time on my latest project. It was a standard expectation by friends and family that I would have my computer and work with me and I missed out on some important things because I "just couldn't get away from work". And then, I lost someone important to me unexpectedly and had the chance to go with his wife and daughter on a trip to Italy. No computer, no phone, just a chance to travel and experience my first vacation overseas. When I came back after two weeks, I had more than 400 emails in my work inbox - talk about overwhelming! And then, my boss said "just delete them all" and after a minor reaction of "you've got to be kidding me!!!" I did it. Wow, was that a liberating feeling! At that moment, I made the decision that to be the best person at work and at home, I had to make time for me and learn to put work away.

Fast forward to today - I have a personal cell phone so I can leave the work phone at home, the computer is not even an option in my packing plan and my goal is to be fully engaged in whatever I am doing, whether it is laying on the beach, playing in the ocean, biking around the island or hanging with family and friends. To quote my boss, "I work to live, not live to work" and so I am off to do just that...live!

Have we lost our sense of commitment?

As many people have heard and read since Friday, Governor Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska, citing several reasons that included making a choice that was in the best interest of the people of Alaska, the toll politics has taken on her family and the need to go in a new direction. While I certainly respect the rights of all people to make choices and decisions for the best interests of their family, I find it hard to trust that the reasons she cited are the real reasons for her choice. The more I started to think about it though, the angrier I got. How do we teach our children that when things get tough, you stick with it and you don't give up if the people who are leaders and supposed role models don't show that same sense of commitment? And the whole idea of being a lame duck? Aren't many of our elected officials lame ducks at some point? Have we really created such a system of "politics" that we can no longer be productive, valuable assets in our roles? Is there really nothing productive that Sarah Palin could have brought to the state of Alaska for the next 17 months? And, is it really that easy to walk away from something that is such a big commitment and responsibility?

The bigger question becomes about honesty, transparency and trust. From where I sit, Sarah Palin has shown little regard for all of these things. It would have been much more honest to stand up and say that since last August, her life, and that of her family, has changed dramatically and that she feels that there is another path for her to be on right now. I would still wonder how someone could quit on a commitment, and a commitment that was made by thousands of people voting in support of you, but at least I would believe her. Commitment is taken lightly these days by so many, personally and professionally, and that lack of commitment affects something much bigger, our beliefs. When people honor commitments, then I can believe in you and am willing to make an investment in you. I will work hard for you and I will stand up for you, because I am committed to you. We need people who make commitments and stick with them in order for us to be a better, stronger nation. What we don't need is another politician who is willing to cast us aside for something bigger and better.

Here is what I am taking away from all of this - a reminder that when I make commitments, it is important to stick with them, no matter how tough they get and no matter how hard others make it for me. I cannot blame others for the tough road I end up on and use that as a justification for quitting. No matter how you color it, quitting is not about integrity and commitment. I have been a little lackadaisical in my own life lately with commitments - making them, focusing on them and sticking with them and that changes today. I am not going to be a person who chooses to walk away or go in a new direction when the one I have becomes challenging, tough, unfair or undesireable. I choose commitment, for all its challenges, toughness and road blocks along the way.

So, there is one thing I can now thank Sarah Palin for and that is reminding me about the importance of making and keeping commitments. Thank you for a valuable lesson.

Thinking about the 4th of July

I am not usually someone who is an outwardly patriotic person, I don't fly a flag at home and I do not go around professing my love for the U.S. but just because I don't do those things, does that make me less patriotic or loyal? Just 5 years ago, a newly identified politician with a funny name gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention, talking about "there is not a liberal America and a conservative America — there is the United States of America. There is not a Black America and a White America and Latino America and Asian America — there’s the United States of America. The pundits, the pundits like to slice-and-dice our country into Red States and Blue States; Red States for Republicans, Blue States for Democrats. But I’ve got news for them, too:
We worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don’t like federal agents poking around in our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and yes, we’ve got some gay friends in the Red States. There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq and there are patriots who supported the war in Iraq.
We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America. In the end, that’s what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism or do we participate in a politics of hope?" Yes, those are the words of our current president, Barack Obama.

Whether you agree with Obama as a leader or not, those words should ring true with all Americans. We have common values and viewpoints, even when we focus our differences. I have been so discouraged by the discourse happening in this country, where people cannot have differing opinions but must vehemently disregard the opinions of others. This past week has brought another round of disappointing news: a governor who broke the trust of the people in his state and, more importantly, broke the trust of his family; unemployment reaching another scary high; political bartering with state budgets and important issues like health care. Sometimes when we hear all that, it can be discouraging and hope gets lost.

And, this 4th of July I am hopeful that we are going to find a way as a nation to respect one another, respect everyone's right to freedom and not give up hope, even if our government or our leaders don't always inspire it. Because I think that, regardless of how you show it or don't, patriotism is not something that can be measured or ranked or won, it is just part of being American and that applies to all of us, regardless of our political positions, the color of our state or the place we worship.