Finding my voice...again

So, tonight I read a friend's blog about Local Foods week (thanks John!) and it inspired me to take to the keyboard. It has been a few months - I wish I had a great reason why, like I was traveling the world or I was doing something of significance, but it was mostly that I just lost my voice. It started with work - the place that I continue to swear about, promising that my job does not define me, it is just a job. I was recruited to interview, pushed to get out of my zone and go for a position that people told me repeatedly I had to go for. Well, I went for it and I did not get it. Second time in less than 12 months that it happened to me and I gotta say - second time around does not get easier! So, I got stuck in a range of 'feel sorry for myself' emotions and hovered there for a bit. Then I got a new boss and my world changed again. As the organization asked me to step into a new role, and as I tried to not see the request as further chinks to my armor, I found myself losing me in all of it. And, I realized the worst had happened, I was allowing myself to be defined by my job. Ugh.

So, I started stepping back, not working like crazy, telling people no and setting new boundaries for work. Awesome, right? Well, then I realized that in the wake of all this work shit, I had lost me in the shuffle. So, I started back down the road of finding me. I mean, what happened to the girl who would get up with a smile (okay, maybe not at 6 am!), seeing the world through her glass half-full perspective? Where was the girl who loved adventure and was always looking for new ways to engage? And, the one I was most missing, the girl who loved meeting new people and creating new connections in this great city? Oh, she was there, just buried under a pile of self-doubt and paralysis. I mean, where does one start when it feels like there are more things to fix than things that are right? Well, I think I am stumbling into the 'one thing at a time' approach.

Which leads me to the initial thought I had while reading John's blog tonight - new connections and this great community. I have met some amazing people in this city - through local organizations (shout out to Local Matters and Slow Food Columbus), Twitter (yep, I am talking to you Twixlen, Jarsloth, Hungry Woolf, Michael Coyote, Highland Estates, EmZeeGee, JimEaton, DrElena, HeatherFidler and so many others...) and at fun events (hello, Columbus Food Adventures, House Wine and Columbus Underground Happy Hours!) or restaurants (I mean, if you know me, you know I have met a person or two at Basi!) The great thing is that these people have become part of my life, some in person, some I am still looking forward to actually meeting, making me laugh, making me think and making me want to do and be more. So, I jumped on to my blog, my completely neglected and underutilized blog, to share my thoughts on finding my voice and how the local community, in all its various forms, has been the start of me rediscovering me.

So, there you have it - the start of me finding me again. I think this is going to be fun...